Has the man in your life ever taken you for granted? Made you feel like you weren’t a priority in his life anymore or made it seem like your needs or wants weren’t that important to him?

Have you ever been dumped by a man out of nowhere yet you had given your all to the relationship? But he decided to just tell you one day that it “just wasn’t working out” and “it’s not you, it’s me” BS?

If you are in a situation where you have been undervalued or broken up with by a man then it might just be time to implement The No Contact Rule. 

The No Contact Rule requires you to cut off all communication with a significant other (or ex) for a minimum of 30 days. During this time, you are not allowed to reach out to them. Yes, that means no texts, phone calls, emails, Skype – nothing! You can’t even send subliminal messages on Twitter or Instagram! You literally have to disappear from the face of the earth and make no contact with him. If he reaches out to you, depending on the gravity of the situation, you can or cannot reply. For example, if it’s after a break up, DO NOT respond to any of his advances until the 30 days (or more) whereas, if you two are still in a relationship and you’re just feeling undervalued, you can choose to not respond to most of his communication attempts and reply to a few of them with one liners to show a lack of interest.

It’s important to note, however, that The No Contact Rule is most effective when all communication is completely cut off and you do not respond to any of his attempts to communicate with you!

You see, we women naturally like to communicate. Whether we’re happy, annoyed, or intrigued by something – we make it be known. As a result, when we are unhappy with certain aspects of our relationships or with how our men treat us, we vocalize this and let them know how we feel. The sad truth is that your man might seem like he’s listening but he’s really not. All your attempts to clue him in on how you feel could easily go in one ear and out the other. He might even start complaining that you’re nagging him. Why? Because men don’t hear words, they only understand actions – such as silence.

If you’ve been taken for granted by your man, it’s time to take drastic measures and disappear. Vanish. Poof! Because the minute that you go silent and start implementing The No Contact Rule is the minute that he will actually start hearing you (ironic, I know). It might take a few days or even a few weeks for him to start wondering what happened to you and reach out to you, but you must stay strong and not contact him at all even if you feel like you miss him like crazy!

The shortest period for The No Contact Rule is the 30 day period where you do not communicate with your significant other for 30 days. Depending on how those first 30 days go, you can choose to add more time – or you might realize that he really isn’t worth it so you disappear forever! However, to be most effective, it’s usually best to implement The No Contact Rule for 60 days or more. Why? Because when a man reaches out to you in less than 30 days of you implementing The No Contact Rule, he is usually panicking and is acting quickly out of fear – he hasn’t really thought about why you disappeared and how he has to change or step up. Depending on your situation, it might require more time for him to really think about how he has taken you for granted and made you unhappy.

Stay strong, Sis! When he reaches out with the usual lines of “Baby, I miss you” and “I want you back” DO NOT REPLY! I repeat: DO NOT REPLY! This is the time for him to take you seriously. To understand that all those times you expressed your unhappiness, you weren’t joking around or just nagging him. If you respond to him right away, it’ll show him that you’re easy and it doesn’t take much for you to come around and forgive him. Instead, be firm and steadfast in not communicating with him. This will make him think about all the possible things he did to make you unhappy and it will make him see you in a different light – a woman who knows what she will not put up with.

Implementing The No Contact Rule has different effects on different men. Although the majority of men will reach out at some point during the period of no contact (some at the beginning and some at the end), there are some men who are very stubborn and might totally refuse to reach out to you at all. You know what? That’s ok! If he doesn’t reach out, let him go. Do you really want to be with a man who takes you for granted AND doesn’t reach out to you if he hasn’t heard from you? Free yourself and walk away from the drama and disrespect.

The No Contact Rule can bring about one of two outcomes. Either your man will value you more and see the error of his ways after not being in contact with you for over a month OR your man doesn’t even care and the relationship fizzles out. Either way, it’s a blessing in my book! You deserve all the happiness and respect that a relationship should offer. A man should be able to see that. It’s human nature for people to get comfortable in relationships but it’s important that the respect for one another is still there. After implementing The No Contact Rule, you should be able to see a positive change in your man. If you don’t see any changes, then it might be time to walk out of his life for good.

Related Topics: how to be more assertive in a relationship, break ups, how to deal with a break up, does giving each other space mean no contact?