Oftentimes it’s easy to start nitpicking on our partners after we have been together for a while. You may start to realize that some of the things you actually thought you had in common no longer exist anymore. You might start asking yourself questions like: Did we ever have anything in common? Or even: Were we ever compatible? 

Personally, I don’t think we are supposed to be the mirror copy of our spouse to have a successful relationship. Embracing our individuality in a relationship makes it easier for us to be more accommodating of each other. Understanding yourself as an individual and realizing that you and your partner might not always be on the same page goes a long way. 

Relationships are more about complimenting each other. It’s almost like cooking. If all the spices tasted the same, the food would taste bland, but each spice brings a unique flavor and when we put them together, the food tastes amazing. The same goes for relationships, our differences complement each other and bring something new and exciting to our partners’ lives.

Steve Harvey once said, “Everyone comes with flaws, you just have to figure out what you can tolerate”. We are not made of the same cloth and we are different. If your partner loves you and is willing to put in the work then you might want to consider doing things that could interest both of you. If the fact that you have nothing in common is a big issue for you, give yourself time and space to think about it.

Sometimes, these issues arise because of the facade some of us put up in the initial stages of the relationship. We go so far as to pretend to be interested in sports, movies and other activities we would ideally never do. I mean – who would want to go rock climbing after a fresh mani pedi right!! Being our most authentic self is the way to go. 

As a couple, it might be important to sit down and talk through your feelings. Make your interests known to each other and ultimately come to a compromise. You can come up with new activities you can do together to help you bond. Being in a relationship shouldn’t feel like a hostage situation. There’s always something new to learn about your partner and you could try to embrace change. As you grow, you definitely change and some of the things you had in common no longer interest your partner. Take time to talk to each other and don’t get too comfortable. Always COMMUNICATE!! 

Try to also stay off of the comparison train. Try as much as you can to avoid things like “How come Suzie and her man wear matching outfits and we don’t?” Instead, approach the situation from a positive standpoint and try to think of ways that the two of you could bond. It’s also important to note that you don’t have to do everything together. The two of you can have separate interests outside of the time that you spend together…

Related topics: Compatibility, Are We Compatible? Should We Break Up Because We Have Nothing In Common?