I’ve always been fascinated by the concept of love. What is it? How do we find it? How do we keep it? These are all questions that I’ve pondered for years.

When I heard about Jay Shetty’s book 8 Rules of Love, I was immediately intrigued seeing as he is a well-known motivational speaker and author so I knew that he would have some valuable insights to share.

One of the things I appreciated most about the book is that Shetty doesn’t sugarcoat things. He acknowledges that love is hard work, but he also believes that it’s worth it. He offers hope to those who have been hurt, and he gives practical advice on how to create loving and fulfilling relationships.

There were a few lessons that strongly resonated with me particularly. The lesson about loving yourself first was especially important to me as I’ve often struggled with self-love. Also, his thoughts on communicating openly and honestly was also helpful as I’ve sometimes been afraid to be vulnerable in my past relationships. Here are a few lessons I learned from the book:

1. Love yourself first
This is the most important thing of all, according to Shetty. If you don’t love yourself, it will be difficult to love others. You cannot give what you don’t know. It made me realize that if we don’t love ourselves, we rely on other people to love us but we are not able to fully reciprocate this because we don’t know how to love and be loved either.

2. Be present
When you’re with your partner, be fully present in the moment. Don’t let your mind wander to the past or the future. Learn to enjoy the moments you have now. Make time to enjoy each other’s presence with no distractions.

3. Communicate openly and honestly
Communication is essential for any healthy relationship. Be willing to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, even if you have to discuss difficult topics. I have really struggled with being vulnerable because it felt like I was arming my partner with ways that he could potentially hurt me, yet I also wanted him to be vulnerable with me. I realized that talking about things makes it easier to deal with whatever issues we were facing.

4. Be forgiving
Everyone makes mistakes. If you want to have a lasting relationship, you need to be able to forgive your partner. We recently also shared an article Lessons On Forgiveness where the author talked about extending grace to the people we love when they ask for forgiveness. You need to be willing to forgive your partner and let stuff go.

5. Let go of expectations
Don’t expect your partner to be perfect. Everyone is different and has their own flaws. We need to be realistic especially when it comes to what we expect from our partners.

6. Show appreciation
Let your partner know how much you appreciate them, both verbally and physically. A thank you or an I love you after they do something nice for you can go a long way.

7. Grow together
Don’t expect your partner to stay the same person forever. As you both grow and change, your relationship will also grow and change. We need to know that people evolve and it’s okay. The family dynamic might change which will also force people to change. Be prepared to love your partner in all the seasons of their growth.

8. Give your relationship a chance
Every relationship goes through tough times. If you’re committed to your partner, you need to be willing to work through the tough times. This is the hard part. I was recently having a discussion with a colleague and we talked about how easy it is to extend effort and grace to friendships. We need to be able to do the same for our relationships. We need to be able to put in the effort and fight.

Jay Shetty gave an example of his proposal to his wife at the beginning of the book, it was like a scene right out of a fairytale but when he sat down and thought about it he realized that, on a normal day, all that wouldn’t have meant anything to his wife. Something simpler with her favorite food and the family would have made her happier. This made me think of how we miss out on the simple opportunities to show people around us how much we love them because we are waiting to make a grand gesture that they may like but will not be as special.

If you’re thinking about reading the book 8 Rules of Love, I would encourage you to do so. It’s a thought-provoking book that can help you to better understand yourself and your relationships.

Take your time reading the book. Don’t try to rush through it. Reflect on the ideas that Jay Shetty presents. How do they apply to your own life? Be open to change. Honestly, the book may challenge some of your beliefs about love and relationships but with an open mind it starts to make sense.

Related Topics: relationships, 8 rules of love, growth, self love, Love