If you’re in a serious committed relationship that is thriving then please consider yourself lucky. Today’s dating streets are tough. Complicated. Confusing. Nonsensical. A hot mess. I could go on but you get the picture. If there’s one thing I can say about today’s dating scene, it’s that it’s a jungle out there. Seriously, folks, we’ve gone from cozy, candlelit dinners to swiping left and right like it’s a full-time job.

Is it just me or has the dating scene completely changed from, let’s say, ten or fifteen years ago? So much has changed and I know you all feel it too. So, why do I feel dating has changed?

1. Commitment and monogamy are no longer appealing to many men
I swear, commitment is like a four-letter word these days. Men seem to be allergic to the “C” word. Commitment and monogamy have taken a back seat, and people are just out there for a good time without the long-term plans. It’s like they’re auditioning for the role of “Most Eligible Bachelor.” It’s crazy…and the worst part is how we have normalized all of this. What happened to the one man and one woman agenda?

2. Men just want to fuck
Yes you read that right. I’ll say it again with my chest, “Men just want to fuck.” As harsh as it sounds it’s true and, y’all, these men can be persistent until they get what they want. He will put in the time and effort it takes to have you playing wifey and selecting music from an Usher playlist but, once he gets what he wants, he disappears –  never to be seen again. Which brings me to my next point…

3. Ghosting has become fashionable
Ghosting, the art of disappearing without a trace, has become a fashionable trend. It’s like everyone took a masterclass in vanishing acts. You’ll be deep in conversation one day, and then poof! They’re gone, leaving you wondering if you were just talking to a hologram or everything was just in your head. And the way people like to brag about ghosting! Eeeeh this jungle called dating requires you to be alert.

4. Dating feels like a job interview
Dating feels more like a job interview than a romantic encounter. We’re asking questions like we’re trying to hire the perfect candidate for a position in our lives. “Do you have five years of relationship experience?” “Can you handle late-night emotional breakdowns?” Can you take care of me?” “What went wrong in your last relationship?” I don’t know about you, but I don’t even want to talk about my last relationship – let alone disclose the entirety of the situation with a stranger. We have not given people the grace to be themselves because we are looking for a suitable person to fill a role.

What happened to getting to know people organically? Sometimes it takes a little while for people to warm up to each other. If you cut people off because the first date wasn’t perfect then you’ll never get a chance to see what things could be.

5. Everyone is selfish
People are in relationships for all the wrong reasons and everything revolves around their personal needs and desires. A relationship is made up of two people that must both be willing to sacrifice and compromise for each other’s happiness in order to sustain the relationship. I actually think that’s why people have a lot of trust and anger issues in relationships lately. Everyone is trying to serve themselves without any regard for their partner.

I’m all here for the recent self-care movement, but have we taken self-care too far? Are we now just becoming flat out selfish? The truth is that the world doesn’t revolve around you and you need to find a way to balance your self-care non-negotiables with compromising and understanding others.

6. People expect perfection
Ah, the quest for perfection! It’s like we’re all striving for some mythical creature who doesn’t exist. We’ve become pickier than a toddler with their food. “Sorry, you don’t meet my exact 27-point checklist; *swipes left*!” Or maybe you already know what you want your partner to look like yet, in actual sense, the person you’ve just met is actually very nice, but you want a perfect version of your dream man which might not exist because you aren’t perfect either.

7. What you see isn’t what you get
Thanks to dating apps, we’ve entered the era of catfishing and misrepresentation. People lie about their age, their job, their hobbies, and even what they had for breakfast. It’s like everyone’s auditioning for a role in a Hollywood movie. And if you have watched the popular tv show “Catfished” you know how bad it is in these streets.

8. The dating scene is a jungle – literally survival of the fittest
In today’s dating scene, it’s not uncommon to find four women vying for one man and, trust me, the guys know it. It’s like watching a nature documentary where the strongest and flashiest peacock gets all the attention. And let’s not forget about those poor married folks juggling their spouses and a few sidekicks. Some just choose to ignore the side chicks and stay but it’s not easy. I really don’t know how they do it.

But fear not, brave daters! While the dating jungle may seem wild and treacherous, it’s not all bad. There are still genuine connections to be made, laughs to be shared, and love to be found. Just remember to bring your sense of humor and a pair of comfortable shoes for all the swiping and dodging of fuck boys along the way. After all, life is an adventure, and dating is just one hilarious (and eventful) chapter in the book of love.

Related Topics: dating, why is dating hard, what do men want these days, relationships,