If you have never been ghosted in this day and age then you might just be a unicorn. People are disappearing left, right and center without a single word. One minute you’re chatting on WhatsApp with a hot guy you’re into and the next minute you can no longer see his profile picture and none of your messages are going through. Why? He blocked you and you have been ghosted.

I won’t lie, I have ghosted a few people in my time but I think I should have done better – but, to be honest, I don’t I regret ghosting some of them. There are some crazy people out there y’all! However, in general, I find ghosting to be childish and very rude.

For me, the first date has always determined whether we get to see each other again or not. Some first dates have ended with me waking up in a stranger’s oversized shirt and others couldn’t make it past dessert. I remember this one date where I met a man and he told me that, if we ended up together, he didn’t want me to work and that he would give me a monthly allowance (the amount that he said was so low which was a shocker in itself). This man was already presenting narcissistic characteristics and was very rude to the servers at the restaurant. Long story short, I blocked him while we were still at dinner and we never talked again after that day.

What happens when you have been ghosted after the first date? It’s honestly one of the most frustrating feelings especially when you liked the person and felt like you had hit it off well. There is a sense of inadequacy and self-doubt that you may feel. It might make you feel rejected, vulnerable and insecure. I know it hurts, but you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and shake it off! If it was one of your first dates with the guys…at least you know he’s not for you early on. Don’t let this throw you off your pursuit for love.

If he ghosted you after the first date it’s 99.9% not your fault. Try not to overthink it and move on. His loss. Also, do you really want a man that’s a coward and can’t tell you straight up that he doesn’t want to move forward with dating you? It’s kind of a turn off if I’m being honest.

In one of our recent articles 7 Things I Learned About Dating In My Twenties, the writer shares some important lessons that I think most women would find useful when navigating the dating scene. She mentioned that you shouldn’t be desperate when dating because a man will either take advantage of you or he will end up running for the hills right away. The first date wouldn’t ideally be the place to continually talk about how you really want to get married soon and you want to have 4 children in the next 4 years. Pump the brakes. I highly recommend that you read the article because it puts so many things into perspective, trust me.

Is it just me or does ghosting almost hurt as much as a break up? Have you ever been on a first date and you can already see your future with this man, eeeeh!!! Only for him to walk you home that night and never talk to you again. Excuse me sir, what about all the plans I made for my future with you? What am I supposed to do now?! I have also ghosted a couple of people but it doesn’t feel nice being on the receiving end and it’s always the ones you want most that don’t hit you back.

Just because he ghosted you, doesn’t mean you should give up on trying to find love all together. I am a strong believer that what is meant to be will be.

Related topics: Ghosting, how do I know I have been ghosted, How to deal with being ghosted, what does ghosting mean? ghosting after the first date