We attract who we are – is this true or false? I know that some of you are probably rolling your eyes and asking yourselves if I was high or something as I wrote this. The laws of physics have always made it clear that opposites attract and so many people have tried to apply this rule to their relationships. Well, the human law of attraction states that we attract people that are similar to who we are, where we are, and what we do.

The famous YouTuber Kevin Samuels had an online session with some ladies about a year ago and, to be completely honest, when I first watched the video, I was offended on behalf of the main woman in the video. The caller was a 37-year-old lady with 2 kids who asked if she should settle with a regular dude. Y’all…Kevin went off! He told this woman that she herself was average at best so she should not call it “settling” if she’s with an average man because that’s the man that’s in her league. I know this sounds wrong on so many levels but it actually made sense. To really understand this context, you just have to watch the video here.

One thing he said that stood out to me was that high value women attract high value men. He went on to explain that a high value woman is not necessarily a wealthy woman. Rather, a high value woman is one that knows her worth and is putting in the work in terms of her career, school, her business or her wellness, depending on what matters most to her.

People can feel your energy when you walk into the room. A highly successful, intelligent, good looking and fit man is probably also looking for a woman of the same caliber or wavelength. If this is the type of man you want, it’s time to ask yourself if you’re the type of woman that he’d want on his arm to share his life with.

If you aren’t confident, narcissistic men are likely to target you because they want someone that they can easily manipulate and control. Please note that I’m not saying if you have ever fallen victim to a narcissist that you deserved it. Instead, I want you to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself which qualities you might possess that make someone like that have (and continue to have) that kind of control over you. When you finally realize your worth, you will see that you need to be a confident woman who knows what she deserves.

After watching the video, I realized something very important: it’s important to invest in your personal growth. Add value to yourself sis! Go bag that degree, start your fitness journey or go start that business. Grow into the person you would like to date because eventually you will attract them. It’s also important to manage our expectations and be realistic about what we are looking for. Kevin asked the lady, “Do you think the high value man you are looking for will be able to show you to the other high value men in his circle?” I was screaming at the screen at this point but, in all honesty, it was a fair question. How many times as ladies have, we not dated guys because we felt like that they weren’t on our level, and we wouldn’t want to be seen with them in public? The same principle applies to men. They also want to have a woman that they’re proud of and would like to show off to their friends and family. Are you as valuable as you think you are? There’s nothing wrong with taking a long, hard look at yourself and realizing that it might be time for personal growth and a life upgrade.

I was reading an article about the law of attraction and how it is closely related to manifestation. According to the article, we attract people that are in the same frequency that we vibrate in. For example, in our friend groups there is always that one friend that attracts a particular group of people and we keep asking the same question: Why or how does she attract these kinds of people? You all hang out in the same places and go out together but, somehow, she is always landing the big shots and well put together men. Then there’s always that other friend that always seems to be dating married or divorced men or even single fathers who treat her like a babysitter for their kids and not a partner. It all comes back to energy. If you give off a confident, classy, and boss babe kind of energy, those are the kinds of people you will attract, and the reverse is also true.

I think we habitually or unintentionally miss the similarities between us and our partners. We actually have some similar traits which is why it’s easy for us to agree on things and pick up “new” hobbies or habits from them. You might find that your interest in certain activities or hobbies have always been there so when you find someone that is in touch with that part of themselves, you are drawn to them because that might be a part of you that you haven’t yet fully explored or tapped into. Our partners have the ability to push us out of our comfort zones to live to our full potential and, once we get there, we might realize that we were never so different from each other to begin with. Another way to see it is that sometimes we are attracted to certain qualities in our partners because we ourselves lack those qualities, but we secretly want to be like them. This can cause a very unhealthy relationship dynamic because it can cause us to put our partners on pedestals that they don’t belong on while we shrink and cower away – leading to some serious issues of emotional, mental, or physical abuse.

So, do we attract who we are? My answer is YES! We absolutely attract who we are. It might be people with a similar personality or people that are in the same place in life that we’re in. You will always attract similar people, so it’s important to take time and work on yourself and truly discover who you are and who you want to be before you put yourself out there.

Related Topics: relationships, couple compatibility, law of attraction, what attracts you to the people in your life, are we who we attract?