Feeling Like Your Partner Just Ain’t It Anymore? Here’s How You Can Rekindle the Spark

A young lady once stated on a live TV talk show that she wakes up in the middle of the night to scroll through her social media and when her husband wakes up and tries to get intimate with her, she quickly gets off the phone, closes her eyes and pretends to be asleep. If you are pretending to be asleep, faking work meetings so you don’t get home to your partner in time, staying out late with your friends instead of your partner… you are not alone! Relationships tend to lose the spark after a while.

We must acknowledge that intimacy is key to having a healthy, functional and overall happy marriage! As the marriage grows, intimacy tends to follow a specific pattern. In the beginning of the marriage, it feels like your partner is perfect. You will be extremely close and get intimate frequently. When the children start to come in, it’s natural for a couple’s sex life to decline because of the exhaustion and lack of one-on-one time as a couple. Priorities shift to raising kids while managing careers and household responsibilities. Even if you do not have children, you will feel that the marriage is wearing off as the relationship evolves because couples stop being as intentional about connecting with each other like they were at the beginning of the relationship.

Here are a few ways you can reignite the spark in your marriage:

Prioritize Alone Time.

Set time everyday, say 10 minutes where you and your partner sit down and share events of your day. It doesn’t hurt to snuggle close by holding hands or kissing while you talk as this can further strengthen your connection. If you can’t set time aside to sit down together daily, try doing it at least 3 times a week.

Appreciate Your Partner.

Be grateful for your partner’s effort and always applaud them whenever you can. When your partner goes out of their way to do something special for you, a simple “Thank you babe, I appreciate you” or “The movie you chose for us last week was amazing, we should do it more often” can go a long way in rekindling your spark..

Be More Thoughtful.

Ever heard of the saying that, “It’s the small things that count?” Sometimes, reclaiming the spark in your marriage is about focusing on the relationship in meaningful ways, even if they are small. For example, call your spouse during work hours just to say I love you, send them a meaningful, romantic message, make plans for a date night or have a fun game night with just the two of you. Knowing that someone is thinking of you and trying all they can to make you happy can be significant and can ignite the spark in your marriage.

Be Innovative and Step Out of Your Comfort Zone.

Rekindling the spark between you and your partner involves an element of surprise! Challenge yourself to come up with ideas to surprise your partner every so often. For example, surprise them with concert tickets or a fun dance class!

Enhance Physical Appearance.

We’re not saying that you should go way out of your way to be someone that you’re not, but a little effort here and there won’t hurt. It is very important to be physically attracted to your partner and your partner should equally be attractive to you. If not, there may be issues later on with your physical intimacy as a couple. You could try out a new hairstyle or makeup look – or you could hit the gym to work on your overall physical health.

Related Topics: how to know if you have lost the spark in your relationship, intimacy in a relationship